I've been enthralled with education and learning my whole life.  Within my family, I'm known as the smarty-pants.  I will freely admit to being a grammar Nazi and a bookworm.  I love to read sci-fi and fantasy...and yes, fan-fiction.  I will admit to researching ideas to the point of obsession, and to neglecting housework in favor of pursuing whatever thought is dancing around in my head.  Research has been a passion of mine and I've often said that if it were possible to be a perpetual college student, I would elbow people out of the way to be the first in line.

I've been a high school world language teacher for almost twenty years of my life.  I'm passionate about sharing the culture, language, and history with my students.  I hunger for that AHA! moment when something finally gels within a student's mind and they truly get it now. Some of the most intense moments of my career have been while traveling with students...watching their eyes light up as we stand in front of capital H-history and knowing that their imaginations were firing up right then.

I never entered the profession of teaching for the money.  Does anyone actually think that teachers do?  It wasn't about having the summers off...truthfully, I get bored within two weeks and return to the school building to get organized for the next year.  It was never about having lots of holidays off.  It was truly about having an impact, about reducing prejudice and intolerance, about expanding children's minds.

This past week has convinced me, however, that education is no longer my harbor.  No longer my refuge.  No longer my career.  Nothing terrible has happened; no media people will be knocking at my door.

This teacher just can't do it any more.

What happened, if nothing worthy of being on the evening news?  The truth is: my own brain is dying.  My students rarely show intellectual curiosity.  They rarely show desire to master (let alone retain) important information despite lots of practice, emphasis, and opportunities.  How can I begin to relate to kids that are so diametrically opposed to who I myself am, to the ideals that I hold as an educator?

Top this off with what's been happening this month in my state legislature in the field of education, and you've got a cynical teacher who's burning out fast.

This smarty pants needs an AHA! moment about what life can be like out of the education lane.